Submitted by rlp on Wed, 05/14/2008 - 11:36.
Imagine my stunned surprise when I checked the mail at our church and found a letter addressed to me from Kipling’s Who’s Who, an organization of “leading business professionals.”
Apparently I’ve not only been nominated, but my “candidacy” has been approved and will become official upon receipt of the enclosed R.S.V.P. card.
I love the little notice at the bottom of the card. “Please do not confuse Kipling’s Who’s Who with other Mimic Publications.” (Italics and capitalization are theirs)
Ha ha, yuk yuk, yeah, I know this is an old joke. The who’s who scam is the precursor to the modern Nigerian bank account email scam. These things bring up so many fascinating questions.
Can it really be true that there are people out there who still think this is some kind of serious honor that is going to beef up their anemic resumes? Apparently so. This is a direct mail campaign. That’s not cheap. The people who run these things aren't stupid. I doubt they would continue to pay the postage and printing if it didn’t bring some return.
And that means some form of the following conversation is taking place right now:
Dude, I got nominated for Kipling’s Who’s Who.
What’s that?
You know, it’s one of those books for leading business professionals. You get in it, you know, because you’re promising or a leading professional.
Dude, you work at Wal-Mart. I mean, that’s cool, but I’m just saying.
Yeah but I have a college degree. That shows promise. You know, potential.
Well, about every fourth person you meet has a degree of one kind or another. Those who’s who things are totally bogus.
Sure some are, but this is Kipling’s. Isn’t that the real one? I mean I know that name. Wasn’t there a guy named Kipling who was that guy who was famous?
Yeah yeah yeah, uh...Runion Kipling or something. I think I heard that in college. [Get’s a mental image of an explorer wearing a pith helmet with a bushy mustache and pipe.] Yeah, that guy was definitely famous. I think he might have been the first to discover some Oriental country or something.
So that’s what I’m saying. This is Kipling’s Who’s Who. I’m sending in the card. What can it hurt? Could help my resume.
Do you even have a resume?
Not technically, but I’m putting one together. I’m going to get my real estate license and see if I can work for Mitch’s dad.
Yeah, there’s good money in real estate.
You know, I can buy the book with my name in it. There’s all those other business people’s names in it. Could be good contacts. I could send out my resume to them. It’s only 50 bucks. I’m just going to put it on my dad’s card. He won’t know.
Go for it man. What can it hurt?
Nothing. I mean NOTHING is funnier than real life.
Never mind the haircut and fading, 80s-era Izod shirt ladies and gentlemen. This man is a leading business professional in the United States...wait for it....OF America!
rlp
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I love the last picture.
I love the last picture. You've got a great Manifest Destiny pose going on.
Perfect! It just felt right
Perfect! It just felt right to stand there looking boldly at the horizon while I imagined the Kipling people getting my crayon acceptance letter.
And they pay for the postage!
I am so happy you replied in crayon!
You rock.
Congratulations RLP
You truly are a man to be reckoned with now!! You may officially thumb your nose at all those in grade school who told you "you weren't ever gonna make nuthin'" of yourself.
like, wow dude
Like, I am so pumped. I actually get to read a blog, by, you know, someone as famous as you dude.
Letter
Is that blue Crayon?
WOW!
Just...wow
Googling "Kipling's Who's Who" brings up a newsletter from a community college proudly stating that "(so and so adjunct faculty) was recently named to the 2008 Kipling's Who's Who. Congratulations!"
Make of this what you will.
That's....I want to say
That's....I want to say sad.
The front page of the Kipling Who's Who website is an open invitation to anyone to submit themselves for inclusion. I have to think since they follow this up by trying to sell you the book that they aren't very selective.
http://www.kiplingswhoswho.com/
Actually, it does seem to
Actually, it does seem to require that you enter a code number from the mailing. So, riff-raff like me can't just enter their info on the website without being invited like you. Don't you feel "special" now? :-)
Oh, well. Forgive me
Oh, well. Forgive me Kiplings for underestimating you. ;-)
Hmmm
Unless...you know...someone who got the card were to post the code number on the internets.
I mean...hypothetically.
I could post the number I
I could post the number I guess, though I'm not sure my card had a number. But if I post a card number like that on the internets, I'm worried I might clog up the tubes. I might have to go to the google and see if there's more information about this.
good point
Wow I hadn't looked at it that way.
See, that's the kind of quality thinking that makes those Kipling people clamor to put you in a book.
Thanks for saving the internets.
Awesome - I love it! I think
Awesome - I love it!
I think you need to add this title up on the top of the blog. Right under "real live preacher" you could put "a leading business professional." That would be perfect!
Now you have to always try
Now you have to always try to remember who was your friend before you made Who's Who, and who showed up after.
Congrats
Congratulations, Gordon.
(Tongue planted firmly in cheek.)
Ah, I knew him when... In
Ah, I knew him when...
In Peace Profound,
Nicholas
I am bracing for rejection.
I am bracing for rejection. This happened to me once before. My best friend in high school (we were blood brothers) were thick as thieves. Then he got a music gig in Nashville and I haven't heard from him since. Remember the little people, Gordon.
i don't know, i've never kippled
ROFL
Pick me! Pick me!
You're a better man than I, Gunga Din.
Oh, wait...
Man of the year!
I got one of those once, nominating me for Man of the Year and offering me to buy a diploma in special print mounted on polished hardwood or something similar. Given that I'm actually not a man at all I found it hilarious and posted the letter on my office door. I think they even called me Doctor in the letter.
Is that crayon you wrote in
Is that crayon you wrote in Gordon?!?!
p.s.
"Wasn’t there a guy named Kipling who was that guy who was famous?"
funniest thing I've read in awhile.
yes, blue crayon. And I
yes, blue crayon. And I worked harder on that line than any other, so I'm glad you liked it. Like unto it was "He was the first person to discover..."
The first person being, of course, the only one who can discover something.
aw, I think that "first
aw, I think that "first person to discover" line would have gone over my head. You made the right call.
hmm
I've wondered about these who's who things. I remember taking the letter into my room in high school wondering what it was all about. I filled it out, though. Just like you, Gordon.;]
I thought it was a scam, but I've actually seen Who's Who on peoples resumes, so who knows!
Please tell me that you
Please tell me that you wrote your crayon response letter on the back of some other piece of something...maybe a coloring book page, or one of those flyers people are always putting on your door advertising for lawn care or an upcoming garage sale in the neighborhood.
Eh, i just grabbed a sheet
Eh, i just grabbed a sheet of paper and a crayon. I didn't spend much time thinking about it. I don't know what was on the paper if anything.
Another Honor
Wow. This is your lucky day. Not only are you up for the "Who's, Who" thing, but you have been selected to appear on the "Referral" page (a.k.a. blogroll) at Necessary Therapy.
Who'd have thunk it?
promotion
I always cringe when my read my ex-husband's blurb about himself (on his blog, on his shelfari page, etc). It includes the phrase "...eligible for MENSA, but not likely to join"
My Dad got one of those.
My father got one of those letters nominating him for the Man of the Year in Science or something to that effect. Since he is a pretty famous scientist he thought it was legit. But when I pointed out to him and my mother that no decent award-giving institution would make you pay $150 for your own award!!! I must add that my father is 84 now and a bit senile, so I understand why he might have thought it was legitimate.
The real Who's Who and Who's Who in Science never asked him to pay to be in their book. And what a cheap trick to use a name like Kipling, aluding to Rudyard Kipling a famous author. These guys are too much.
But I love that fact that you replied just for the heck of it. :)
I shamefully Admit
I shamefully admit...I fell for it a few years ago, but for poetry.com... It was good poetry, in my mind.
I shelled the 40 bucks for the book out, even bought one for grandma, and I was on the front cover!!! What a great day... then I read the other poetry... hmm...
I am such a SUCKER!! But, they nominated me for an award, and a whopping 1000 dollar prize if I came to pick it up. Wow I thought... then I threw it in the trash!
Nothing...
.... except this:
hilarious. : ) !!!!
You have such resolve in that last pic. Definitely professional material.
Someone has plagiarized you
Someone copied this story and posted it as their own at http://www.thisisby.us/index.php/content/who_is_who__s_who. I have been in contact with the owner of this site to report the poster as a plagiarist (he stole one of my stories as well), but have not heard back from them yet.
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